This...and...That

Ok.. So I need to update badly...But I just cant seem to just do it. I am having the same problem with my personal journal and my Lyla journal. I know it is important... but I just don't see the time and if I do, I don't make room for it. But... I have an iPad now with a keyboard :) so I can update whenever...because it looks like I am writing an email on here...sneaky?!?

Just a couple things floating through my noggin the past bit...

Lyla will be 4 months on Thanksgiving! Holy moly! She is just a good baby. It is so fun to watch her grow and learn new things. I love when she snuggles me and laughs at silly things. It is joyous when she sees me walk into the room and she kicks her legs, throws her head back in delight, and gets beyond giddy...It gets me beyond giddy.

Still trying to buy a house... but it looks like it probably wont go through. It has been quite the test of endurance and patience. Kelly has been so positive about it all and has nearly killed himself trying to take care of everything. But if we end up not getting it, we really believe its for the good, and we will end up where we need to be.

I need to start a blog about my lil fam... and leave this one for my randomness... that is my goal this coming long 5 day weekend! Yahoo! I am trying to decide what to call it... Kelly and Amber? A&K Horrocks? Kelly, Amber, One...and Counting? haha! Let me know if there are any clever ideas out there.

Updated..CHECK X!

A MOM...!?!

I am officially a MOM now... a MOM!!! I never thought that I would ever hold that title... let alone be in love with that title. I want to have an honest moment here… I was terrified to have a baby... to be a mom! I never felt that it was me, or that I could live up to that. I was scared that I would have to give up a part of me or that it would not feel right. I was even worried that I would have to be a little more selfless and less selfish. It freaked me out that I was being entrusted with a special little piece of heaven.
But... I had to set all those fears and insecurities aside and open the door to motherhood!

 I am absolutely, head over heels, IN LOVE with my little LYLA, my own little piece of heaven. Sure it is still terrifying at times... but it’s a good terror, because it is an adventure! I have not lost myself... maybe my waistline, and some of my wardrobe... but having this sweet little girl in my life has definitely lead me to find more of who I really am. I feel so blessed to have her, to learn and grow, and to watch her learn and grow. She is so darn cute, and she makes me feel joy that I have never felt before. It sure can be overwhelming, and stressful at times, but when she smiles at me, or wraps her tiny hands around my finger, it somehow it all worth it...I'M A MOM!!!

No Time...

Geesh! Too busy to blog. I really have wanted to share my random mind full of thoughts, but life is crazy these days. I never have a spare second at work (except for the one I am stealing right now) and barely any time in the evenings. Most of our time is consumed by looking for a house... it's out there…we know it. We just need to be patient…ugh, patience!
Only 18 more days until Summer Vacay! The countdown is exciting, but counting down that also counts down until baby... eek! Exciting, but so scary. Less than 9 weeks... that’s only 2 months! Holy Moly... I basically have nothing ready…but who really IS ever ready?! At least our baby will understand the importance on spontaneity ;)
Back to work...

Uhhhh….BOY or GIRL?!?

I haven’t really made an official social network announcement about my impending motherhood… I was kinda waiting for, #1 that it really was not dream and #2 for the most important question everyone always asks… Boy or Girl? Here I am almost 23 weeks into this...ummm… uhhhh….pregnancy (still having a weird reality check when saying that word… heck still really can’t say it!) and I am just getting to this “edge of your seat” news. We waited until the 20 week mark for the Ultrasound that would change our lives… Mainly because our doc would not do it any sooner than that, but also to add a little suspending excitement to our lives. Kelly and I did not have a preference either way. Whether a boy or girl, it was exciting to us. Four other siblings on Kelly’s side of the family were all having boys this year so we thought that would be fun to add a fifth little man. But that was the only thought on that.

The ultra sound went great! The baby is healthy, and doing great. It is quite the wiggler! But I didn’t need an ultrasound to tell me that. Gonna be just like its daddy... that man never stops moving…ever! It was such an amazing moment for Kelly and me... It made it much more real to us. It looked quite different than the 9 week ultrasound… it came along way from looking like I had just eaten a gummy bear (which I probably had, because I crave them like crazy). When we found out whether Boy or Girl, I got all giddy inside. The ultrasound tech left the room for a bit, and Kelly said to me the name we had thought about if it was this… and I started to cry! (Darn hormones!)

After leaving the doc office, we wanted to tell our families right away… So we ran to the party supply store and got balloons in the color associated with this gender. Kelly had got a big box from U-Haul, and we put the inflated balloons in the box. On the front I put a sign that said “IT’S A……..”. A couple of balloons popped inside box before they got to be surprised… and of course I cried (Hormones again!).

My sister, April, was highly anticipating this moment… for who knows how long. I was afraid for this moment to be honest. Because when we announced to my family I am prego… I almost lost a limb… Maybe even my head... in the wrath of her excitement. Kelly and I presented them with the box, April opened it and colorful PINK balloons escaped from the ginormous box! It was so fun to tell them this way… and no, I didn’t lose any limbs or leave their house in bruises… she kept her thrilled emotions to limit.

Kelly and I couldn't be more thrilled for a little baby GIRL! She is going to be such an incredible little lady! I can’t wait to dress her and do her hair… I know, a tad selfish. I have a lot of things to work on and prepare for when she joins us...eeeeek, only 17 more weeks! I will always want her to know how beautiful she is, to never be afraid, and to follow her dreams.

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!!!

Making a Difference…

There are times in my career, where I feel that I am not making a difference. One schedule change after another… “NO MORE SCHEDULE CHANGES!!!” I have even found myself writing on my whiteboard. Too many credit checks, that I find myself dreaming about (ummm…have nightmares about) doing them. I often feel that one day is not much different than the rest. I wanted a career where I felt like I was doing something big, making life better for others… I get sad when I feel like it is not happening with my position as a High School Guidance Counselor. I wonder if I have gone down the right path… then I run into a current student at the mall, who is with their mom, and they get excited to see me. And when we walk away from each other, I hear them tell their mom how much I have helped them, and how much I care. Can’t help but smile as think about it :) Then I have had those run-ins with former students who many would thought would never make it… but I did, and because they didn’t get sick of me constantly reminding/encouraging them they that needed to get credits made up, and they worked their butts off and they GRADUATED … and they randomly see me with my sister and mom on a Saturday afternoon at Shopko. They tell them how much I helped them get to graduation and are now able to go to the college they have always wanted to go to! And say they could not have done it without me. I can’t help but have a little pride. Or the students who’s countenance has changed in the past year, because they tell me no one has ever believed in them, like I have, and they now believe in themselves and it shows! Beaming, ever so slightly.

Okay Okay, so maybe I am making a difference, one schedule change at a time…

White... Knuckles

There are too many things that are white these days… my legs, the ground outside, and my knuckles last night! Not a fan of the snow storm we had last night… BOO! Why is there a snow covered earth outside my door, the first day of March? Pretty sure winter was supposed to start a couple months ago... and it decides to show up now, as spring is quickly (lets pray) approaching! We didn’t even have snow on Christmas… but we get it now?! I guess it is better than dead brown grass, and we do need the “moisture”, but I don’t want it! Had to work late last night, and afterward drove home on deaths highway, with fists clenching away the life and soul out of the steering wheel. When I arrived home, miraculously in safety, my face was as white as the knuckles I had to pry off the wheel! I am grateful I got home safely, but I will be more grateful when the white snow melts, and the nice warm sun melts away my pasty white legs!! Only 20 more days until SPRING! The thought alone giddyfies me!

Jump... Warning!

I swear I am the jumpiest person I have ever met! My body and mind are alarmed over the slightest abnormalities. Whether it is a speck in the mirror, which I think is a ghost, or the sound of someone in the apartment next to us moving around… I Jump! I get so annoyed with myself, as I am sure those who are sitting snuggly next to me, do when watching a movie… I jump even during some of the least intense moments. Don’t even get me started on the intense, loud volume ones… I am as shaky as the machine gun going off in the scene.

Kelly and I have this thing where we kinda like to scare one another… ok… maybe it’s me really enjoying scaring him. I have got him really good a couple of times! Bahaha! Just thinking about the expression on his face as he looked like he was going to cry and hyperventilate at the same time, makes me want to plan out my next Scream scene! He is this big tough, “Because I am a man” Man, and it brings such a sense of fulfillment when he turns into a little scared girl for a few moments in time. But when it comes to scaring me, he does not have to go through any particular planning… he just walks casually into the kitchen, and my Ninja moves come out. I may have to get that checked out… I even had my breath taken away yesterday, by some ice in the bathroom sink at work. In my defense, it was out of the ordinary and I thought it was a giant bug! Or maybe I can just blame it on me being pregnant… increased anxiety? Sounds as good as an excuse as any. Did I just make you jump out of your seat?! JUMP JUMP!